The Looooooooove Boat.
Rumple: I just think my instincts about people are better than yours.
Belle: How? Why?
Rumple: Well, I picked you–
Rumple: You on the other hand, picked me
In my mind, to repent of sin was to hate yourself
In my mind, if I beat myself up hard enough for my sins and the ways I had fallen short, it would keep me from making that same mistake again. If I berated myself well-enough, I wouldn’t even dare look at the temptation. Not only that, but I also believed that self-hate showed God the depth of my repentance. If I lashed out against myself and saw myself as no better than the worst vermin that crawls across the ground, perhaps he’d accept my apologies in seeing how earnest they truly were.
Do you see the legalism growing in those thoughts? I didn’t notice the legalism taking root, until I sat down to truly reflect on my practices of self-hate. If you’re like me, and self-hate is the language of your inner life, perhaps you have some hidden legalism within your own heart too…
This legalism began with an incorrect understanding of repentance. In my mind, to repent of sin was to hate yourself. As I recognized the guilt of my sin, I had to punish myself with hateful words. You’re useless; stupid; the worst mother / wife / friend / daughter in the world—you never get anything right!
However, this didn’t lead to holiness because it wasn’t true repentance. To repent is to turn from sin to godliness; we recognize the wrongness and horrors of our actions and turn towards what is right and good.
~ Lara d’Entremont
I am very glad that this post didn’t take the route of “the opposite of self-hate is self-love so you need to love yourself more”, which is unfortunately the type of thinking in much of contemporary evangelicalism. No! We must not hate ourselves or love ourselves! The old hymn, “Before the Throne of God Above” put it best:
“When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end to all my sin
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free
For God the just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me!”
11:38 - Arrived at crime scene.
11:38 - Examined body. Signs of a struggle.
11:38 - Found murder weapon in drain.
11:38 - Realised watch was broken.
Henry: Can i keep the night light on?
Regina: And provide the monsters with a beacon to your location? Use your head dear.
My Barbenheimer itinerary
10 am: brunch
12 pm: meditation
2 pm: Oppenheimer
5 pm: costume change
5:30 pm: nuclear disarmament
6 pm: Barbie
8 pm: karaoke
2 am: bed
little-catholic-diva